QUICK MARRIAGES
July 31st, 2010 | 1 | 77 Comments »
By Mwenya Mukuka
One day, I was in a lift on FINDECO house. While there, I overhead four beautiful and elegantly dressed young women having a conversation about relationships and how the new trend of quick marriages is catching up in Lusaka.
They said some girls have become too desperate nowadays and are consenting to walk down the central aisle even with men they hardly know.
One of the ladies said a friend whom she called Lucy had gotten married after dating a guy for 3 months. According to them, it was all wrong to date and marry in 3 months.
I was not surprised though other people in the lift commented on the negative after the young ladies got off the lift on the 14th Floor. May be I am blind to relate quick marriages and their possibilities not to survive.
I’m among those who strongly believe that, your Mr Right can pop up anywhere and anytime. So, would you simply turn him down because he has made it too soon?
After all, any woman with proper senses in her belly would finally wish to be tied to someone called a husband who can provide her with warmth, if not the traditional physical support, as today’s liberated girls claim to be stronger and independent.
We have lately heard career women screaming everywhere that their priorities have changed and marriage no longer tops the list. Well, let them change, but all I know is, whether they like it or not, the ultimate goal of every woman is marriage.
“Yes I do,” are the three sacred words that every woman is craving to utter amid cheers and tears of the excited crowd.
This is so, because marriage is seen as the only right path to happiness and fulfillment. Not to think of procreation that comes with it.
Think of the idea of a sanctioned union between the sexes. It begins in Genesis when God sees Adam and sees that he is lonely. “It is not good that man should be alone. I will make him a helpmeet for him.” Says the Lord.
It is not good to go through life alone. That’s why one Fredrick Titus Chiluba at one time said ‘Ubushimbe nabumpesha amano’ before he married Regina.
So, to me, it doesn’t matter how soon the proposal comes. If the marriage is bound to break, it would just break for other reasons and not because the proposal came too fast.
In fact, you should start worrying whenever he takes longer to bend his knee, as there is no justifiable reason for him to delay it especially after having dated you for too long.
“After two years of dating without the ring, just consider walking out of that relationship because it won’t come,” My colleague advised some girls the other day.
You can’t afford to wait any longer than that, unless you are over ambitious. Besides that, you have too much to worry about your biological clock before it goes to menopause.
But being over desperate for marriage should not make you vulnerable to obvious cheats. On the contrary, you should be a bit cautious of men whose satisfaction is only to see tears of heartbroken girls.
Some of them have mastered the art of manipulating women’s minds by way of fake proposals and wedding rings.
In circumstances where a woman would play hard to get even in the broad limelight, a man on the other hand in his bid to conquer your heart, he would instantly propose to break through.
This is what is fondly refered to as “gear number six.” It is only applied when other obvious options to lure a girl hit the wall.
Having waited for it to come for so long, and here now it has ascended unexpectedly, only an insane girl would rub if off.
The motives of these proposals are not genuine. That is why we have increased cases of girls who only end up being proposed with fancy rings.
Because the trick is now outdated, another colleague amused me the other day when he said that nowadays, for one to easily touch the heart of a girl and her relatives, the trick is to find a grand father at Pensions House to go and ask for a bride price.
mwenyamukuka@yahoo.co.uk or +260 977 61 89 11